The Kids are fine. And so are we!: Speak Easy

Wil’s cousin and his wife are expecting their first baby in February. A girl as well. We just spent an hour and a half talking to them. While I am thrilled for them, it is sad to see another pair moving from couple-hood to parenthood. Somehow, the two of you get less interesting. You become conjoined and talk incessantly about this soon-to-be person. That or you give hour-by-hour descriptions about what you do with the very unreasonable and sometimes disagreeable little creature. You cease to be you. You become a narrator for that someone who-can-yet-speak-for-itself. You realise that you seek the companionship of those who are alike.

When parents meet, the conversations gyrate towards their kids or soon-to-be kids. Are there any statistical study done to measure the percentages? What is the deviation, if any? There can’t possibly be a number small enough to reflect this variation. Conception (or realising conception) reduces parents’ ability to make coherent chatter on matters beyond the kid. It is depressing to admit that I help prove this hypothesis as true. I catch myself deliberately switching conversations from her, despite yearning to mention her in every sentence I speak. Here, I have this kid who is very much attached to my life, yet I wish to keep my individualism. To hold on to the old single-hood and couple-hood me.

Somehow, I can’t convince myself. Detached parenthood is like a paradox. Give me my freedom of speech. I choose to speak on her.